Fractured Beauty (Surviving Infidelity)

Have you seen that photo floating around the Internet of a bowl interwoven with Gold?  That bowl had been broken into many pieces and in Japanese culture instead of throwing that bowl out the potter fuses the broken pieces back together with gold.  This craft is called“Kintsukuroi”.  This process ends up making the bowl stronger than it ever was, even though you can see every fracture from the trauma, it’s seen as more beautiful because it was broken.  What would have been perceived as valueless is once again made priceless in beauty and worth by the hands of a skilled practitioner.


This image hits me deeply.  You see my husband and I have overcome infidelity in our marriage less then two years ago.  I discovered his secret sin Christmas night 2014.  He was immersed in a sinful relationship with a coworker that started out “just as friends” while on a deployment sail that ended up with many broken and shattered pieces.

His actions left our marriage in shambles….too many broken pieces to count.  If you’ve been through or are going through this you understand.  To the worlds eyes our marriage would seem to be an unsalvageable mess of wreckage.  But to the potters (God’s) eyes it was something of great value and worthy of repair.  Those broken pieces would be fused back into place with God’s precious gold, refined by His fire.  I couldn’t see how it was possible, but I knew that I loved my husband more than he hurt me, so I placed my broken marriage in Gods capable and willing hands.

Thankfully I am blessed to say that our marriage is now a beautiful mosaic of gold interwoven between many fractures, and it isn’t a weak vessel fragile and vulnerable to outside pressures, it’s a strong fully restored work of art.  The covenant of marriage is a vessel crafted by God and though it may break, it can be recreated into something more beautiful than it ever was.  Being obedient to the work is crucial.  It requires repentance,  willingness, and all of the scattered broken pieces, in order to be fused back together, otherwise it will never be whole again.  The process will most certainly feel very uncomfortable, as the melted gold fuses the broken pieces together, and you will see the scars, but they will be filled with a beauty that wouldn’t have existed if all the pieces were just thrown out.

So let God do the painful work of fixing your marriage.  Be obedient to His call to honor your covenant (even if in moments of great deception your spouse wasn’t). God can heal those deep hurts, you just have to give him all those broken pieces.  My husband and I are living examples of a marriage renewed.  It’s more beautiful than it ever was, and stronger than I ever could have imagined.

Give God your hurts, trust in His process and be obedient to His desire for your marriage.
With love, <3

Chrissy

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